Fear Isn’t the Problem: It’s the Story You Tell Yourself About It

This blog is written by Jen Josey, a public speaker, coach, podcast host, entrepreneur, and Bestower of Badassery™. She writes as she talks, so put your red pen away. Jen is extremely opinionated but reserves the right to change her opinion at any time because, well, that's the way she rolls. Jen also finds it strange to write in the third person. Enjoy!

Let’s get one thing straight. Fear is not going anywhere. It is part of the entrepreneurial journey, right up there with caffeine, Canva, and questioning all of your life choices at two o’clock in the morning. If you are building something new, stretching yourself, or daring to want more, fear is going to show up. Period.

However, there is a crucial aspect that most people overlook. Fear itself is not the problem.

The real troublemaker is the story you tell yourself about that fear.

Fear is just a feeling. It shows up when you are about to do something unfamiliar or uncomfortable. The story is what turns that moment into hesitation, procrastination, or full-blown paralysis. Fear says, “This is new.” The story says, “This is dangerous, and you are probably going to mess it up.”

And that story is what keeps people stuck.

The Stories We Spin

We all have an inner narrator, and sometimes she deserves an Oscar for Best Dramatic Performance. She can take a simple, passing thought like, “What if this doesn’t work?” and turn it into an entire mental saga.

What if I fail?

What if people judge me?

What if I do this wrong?

Suddenly, that turns into something much louder and much scarier. If I fail, everyone will know I have no idea what I am doing. If people judge me, they will stop respecting me. If I mess this up, my business will crumble, my confidence will be shattered, and I will probably end up living in a van down by the river.

Sound familiar?

These stories are what we call limiting beliefs, and they are incredibly effective at keeping us exactly where we are.

It is not the fear of launching a new offer, starting a podcast, raising your prices, hiring help, or putting yourself out there publicly. It is the narrative that creeps in and says you are not ready yet. That you need one more course, one more certification, one more year of experience. That other people get opportunities like this, but people like you do not.

And let me say this clearly. If you are an entrepreneur, you have had these thoughts. All of us have. The difference between the people who grow and the people who stay stuck is not confidence. It is the willingness to question the story running the show.

How Old Stories Hold You Back

Limiting beliefs rarely announce themselves. They do not show up waving a red flag that says, “Hello, I am here to sabotage your success.” They sound logical. Responsible. Even protective.

They come from childhood experiences, past failures, money stories, cultural expectations, or a comment someone made years ago that lodged itself in your brain and never left (screw you, Tina). Maybe you were told you were too much. Too ambitious. Too loud. Too sensitive. Maybe you watched someone else fail and decided that meant you should play it safe. Maybe you tried once, it did not work, and your brain labeled that entire path as unsafe.

So your inner dialogue takes over.

I am too new to charge that much.

I am not qualified enough to lead this.

I should already have this figured out.

If I put myself out there, people will see through me.

I cannot grow until I have more time, more money, or more confidence.

These thoughts feel real. They feel true. But they are still just stories. And stories can be rewritten.

Rewrite Your Narrative: How to Flip the Script

1. Catch Your Inner Critic: Start by noticing when your inner dialogue goes negative. Write down the limiting beliefs as soon as they pop up. Shine a light on those sneaky thoughts. The more you pay attention, the easier it gets to spot the patterns. Don’t judge yourself for having them, just get curious. Sometimes, simply seeing those thoughts on paper is enough to take away their power.

2. Question the Truth: Ask yourself, Is this actually true, or just a story I’ve been telling myself? Nine times out of ten, it’s the latter. Dig deeper. Where did this belief come from? Is it based on facts or just old fears trying to keep you safe? Challenge your assumptions. You’ll be surprised how flimsy most of these stories really are when you shine a little light on them.

3. Reframe the Story: Replace the limiting belief with a more empowering one. Instead of I’m not ready, try I’m learning as I go, and that’s how every badass starts. Give yourself permission to be a work in progress. Remember, nobody starts as an expert. The new story should feel believable and motivating, not just a cheesy affirmation. Make it something you can actually get behind.

4. Find the Evidence: Look for proof that contradicts your old story. Have you ever succeeded when you were scared? Has someone complimented your work? Collect the receipts. Keep a running list of your wins, big or small, and revisit them when doubt creeps in. Evidence builds confidence, and the more you see it, the easier it is to believe your new narrative.

5. Speak It Out Loud: Say your new narrative out loud. It feels weird, but it works. The more you repeat it, the more your brain believes it. Talk to yourself like you would a friend who needs a pep talk. Say it in the mirror, write it on a sticky note, or record it on your phone. The goal is to make your new story so familiar that it drowns out the old one.

Real Talk: From Stuck to Sold

When I first started in real estate investing, my inner dialogue was a total mess. I kept thinking, Who would ever sell me their house? I have no clue what I’m doing. I was convinced I needed to know everything about real estate before I could even think about buying a house to flip. So what did I do? I waited. I studied. I let that story hold me back for six whole months.

During a group project walk-through, a coach finally asked me why I didn’t have a project yet. I told him about this one property I’d been eyeing on Craigslist. He asked for the numbers, and his jaw just about hit the floor. What the heck was I waiting for? He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Call them him now and get that property under contract." My heart was pounding. My palms were sweaty. My brain was screaming, "You’re not ready!" But I took a deep breath and dialed. As it was ringing, my coach leaned in and said, "Don’t forget, everything’s negotiable." I nodded, trying to act cool while the two Krispy Kreme doughnuts I just ate started to do somersaults in my gut.

The owner picked up. I told him I was calling about his 4200 square-foot historic home listed on Craigslist for $60,000. (Yes, that’s why my coach’s jaw dropped too.) He said it was still available. I looked over at my coach and blurted out, "Is that price negotiable?" The seller didn’t even hesitate. He said, "Sure! What price do you have in mind?"

I swear, time stood still. My mind went blank, and the first number that popped into my head was my high school basketball number, 44. "Would you take $44,000?" I asked, barely believing the words coming out of my mouth. He said, "Sure, let’s do it!" Once I picked MY jaw up off the floor, I managed to spew out something like, "Sounds great! I’ll send a contract over in the next few hours!" and immediately hung up.

Here’s the thing: I had no idea what I was doing. I forgot to get his email address, so thank goodness he texted it to me right after. But guess what? I figured it out as I went. The lesson I learned is that you do not start because you are ready. You start so you can GET ready. If you wait until you feel ready, you’ll be waiting forever. Done is better than perfect. Action creates clarity. The best way to learn is to jump in and get messy.

Did I know what I was doing? HELL no. But did I quickly learn? Absolutely. And I never would have learned a thing if I’d let that old story keep me stuck on the sidelines.

Final Thoughts: You’re the Author

Fear is just a feeling. The story you attach to it is optional.

The next time fear shows up, do not let your inner drama queen grab the microphone. Rewrite the narrative. Make it bold. Make it honest. Make it yours.

Ready to ditch those tired old stories and step into a braver version of yourself?

You hold the pen.

Your next level of badassery is just a new story away.

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Want more sassy strategies, real talk, and a few laugh-out-loud moments? Catch Jen Josey's latest videos and podcasts on her YouTube channel. Jen Josey is available for speaking engagements, bringing a little courage, a lot of energy, and a whole lot of fun to your stage: www.TheRealJenJosey.com.